I love you Kathmandu, but as much as I do, your roads sucks. I do not remember the roads being in such a pathetic state – it is in a complete mess. But its’ not just that, here are 10 things that totally annoy me whenever I have to reach a certain destination, and all we can do is pray that “Pashupathinath le sabko rakhchya garun!” Jai Nepal!
Always fast and always furious!
The name “Microbus” sure has ‘micro’ in it, but they are a major headache, infamous for rash driving, and stopping wherever they goddamn please! Though our cops toughened up a little, they need to be more assertive, and the passengers too need be a little more communicative and inform the drivers to travel in a civil manner.
Does anybody know why the people in Kathmandu are in such a hurry? Do they themselves know why they are in such a hurry? Especially the motorcyclists – if they see a vacant space anywhere, they squeeze in, no matter how much space there is. And the rule of only overtaking from right side doesn’t seem to work here. Calm the F down people! Maybe leave a few minutes, or even an hour early, towards your destination?
The two S
First S stands for “stare”. If there is a case of even almost an accident, the two parties never fail to stare each other, you know the “I will kill you b***h look”, and if things go out of hand, then the second S comes in to play, which stands for “slangs” (“Talai kudauna audaina, *beep* beep* *beep* and *beeeeeeep*!?!?), and if that doesn’t satisfy them, then you may see few punches being thrown at one another. Can we not travel in peace? These lads can go for meditations, and learn various relaxation techniques, but jokes aside, things can be sorted out in a peaceful manner, rather than creating a scene in the middle of nowhere.
Bato ko Janta
“We cross where we want, we talk/text on the phone while crossing the road, and our favorite thing is to cross on a busy road despite of having an overhead bridge right on top of our head” seems to the unofficial motto of pedestrians. Hats off to you guys! I am sure people can delay their phones calls for few seconds, and use those beautiful zebra crossings and overhead bridges, than endangering lives.
Dhuwa ra Dhulo
You hardly see anyone wearing a mask in other nations, whereas it is completely different in Nepal – you hardly see anyone not wearing a mask! The roads and vehicles be like, “Oh, so you don’t smoke? Don’t worry, we will destroy your lungs anyways!”
Old is not gold!
There are some vehicles on the road that should be displayed in a museum, not because they are of any historical significance, but they are as older than the aged riders themselves! There was this one time I was behind a Gypsy and I just thought I would go slow and not overtake the vehicle, but then the car started farting a thick layer of black smoke which hit my face in full force! And I was like, “Plan changed Sashant, overtake this bastard right away!” Solution? BAN THESE VEHICLES ALREADY!
Charai tira adhyaaro nai , adhyaaro nai cha!
Despite installing solar lights in some places, major parts of the capital are still dark. It feels like riding in a dark jungle. I was literally praying that I don’t bump into holes, or in worse case hit a person. I hope that government installs lights in more parts of the city, or that loadshedding reduces so that the lights stays on. One can dream, right?
Who let the dogs out?
Dogs are a man’s best friend, and as I much as I like dogs, they can turn satanic in an instant. They rule the streets, and sometimes there is an Eagles gang, and there is the Bicchu gang, and they fight it out to death in the middle of the road. We need to find them good homes, and help out animal organizations too.
Lights will guide you home, NOT!
Coldplay definitely did know about Nepal when wrote the lyrics – “Light will guide you home” for Fix You. Moreover, I still don’t understand why our traffic lights don’t work! But hey, at least we get to see the cops showing various traffic gestures, which is quite cool and entertaining, and sometimes we get to see some Michael Jackson moves as well. We need to fix the lights. This shouldn’t even have to be discussed!
Holes To Hell
Riding in Kathmandu is like riding in a minefield. Sometimes you don’t it them, yet you bump into it, and then BOOM!, you hit something/someone. And don’t even get me started what happens during the rainy season! Nagarpalikas and local communites need to get their priorities straight ASAP!
– Sashant Pradhan